It seemed like such a great idea

what not to like?

a garden

two lovebirds

i just set the mood and press play


And yeah, ups and downs

need to get tough sometimes

and the numbers begat             and begat

but all manageable

kind of what i wasn’t born

to do


Even playing off the other flavours

(and the ravers)

and no I can’t deny i got a buzz

from seeing my guys forge ahead

crosses and towers             horses and swords

cloaks and daggers             black books


Sure there was a point where I got a bit freaked

when they made with the actual chains on their brothers

that wasn’t part of any plan, i

thought i’d given them options

thought i’d given them             management solutions

but they were off, fuck it, no holds barred


I had a few guys, and the proles took their side

and they stopped the worst of it

for a while, but not before they’d

sucked the life from the children of Eden

to kickstart the last of days


And now it’s seriously beyond.


My inbox is a mountain of trash

i can’t even answer the bloody apostles: i’ll grant that they

set it up well

plenty of wiggle room

but that Aussie camper’s right

people hold me to blame,

and i can’t get off the hook

you should see my facebook – except you can’t cos

i’m friends with everyone

and no-one


Sometimes I think only bright eyes got it right

and i wish i could just unpick it, or slip away

just slip away…




it’s not a signal to a little man

in your brain

it’s the screaming siren that you know

is not a drill

(and yeah, time to think about whether and when

to take that pill)


You were lucky

got a dose of it young

got to know which side your head was buttered on

which side your prayers were muttered on

then stuttered on counting blessings

Nearly forgetting

tho he sent the odd postcard;

now he’s back – knock-knock-knocking on the hostel door:

right now it’s more of a noise than a threat

It got you writing again” – but it’s not the grit

in my huitre, no shit

no pearls gonna come of it

Come off it? Not this time. The warden says

he’s brought his bags, he’s

come to stay

Hey that’s a real neat way to end it

but it’s bollocks

and there’s so much more to say

There will be days, or hours

when things are okay

and to be okay will be very heaven

when even to breathe will make you feel like a king

and even to see will make you feel that you see


In between, you’ll get to know each other well

find a way to dwell

in that compact labyrinth, and you’ll know

which side your head is buttered on, and

which side your prayers are muttered on

(the kind of sarky prayers the godless like to swear)

and how to focus focus focus on the mandala

the pulsating orb, to make it settle

command the messengers to their quarters, orders

which may or may not be obeyed

All this is easy – sometimes. The hardest thing

is staying on the track with the young horses

staying on the path, bridled with hawsers, pulling the barge

bridge after bridge

with him on your back, cackling, digging,

sticking the knives in like they did with JC

For they will give you a token of sympathy

as they think of a way to replace you, well

we can’t afford to carry him forever”

and you’re gasping to swim as you know what it’s like to go under

gasping and grasping

But the harder you try

the more that you pant

the more they’re embarassed

and know that they can’t keep you on

and you’re gone

Not even a card and you’re

sat on your own in the surgery

waiting for the verdict

no stranger to the savagery

work says you’re not fit

doc says you are

nobody wants you and there’s

nobody left to care

except the people you care about

who you will not burden as they grapple

with cares of their own

Manage your pain

Manage your self

Manage your brand

When you were young, the old and unfit

lived on a pittance but they

lived in a council flat: now there’s

fat chance of that

even tho there’s two of you


Pain pain pain pain pain

pain and me:

how it’s gonna be.